Friday, June 26, 2009

Miss Roxie's Free Therapy

Hello to my reader friends.

Writing is kinda new to me so you might want to know how I came to be a canine writer. My last job was being a therapy dog. See, human folks are mighty complicated creatures. If you talk to most humans, they almost always got something to complain about or they want to be somewhere else or want something they ain't got. It takes a whole lot to make humans happy, and when humans ain't happy, well they think if they get themselves some therapy, that will make them happy.

Now humans got themselves lots of therapy options. Some humans like television therapy. These are the humans that watch Miss Oprah and Dr. Phil. Now Miss Oprah must be a might powerful therapist cause she has the Wizard of Oz on her TV show. And we all know the Wizard of Oz can fix just about any problem. If you get your therapy from Oprah I bet you know who Dr. Oz is. But you see, Dr. Oz really is the Wizard of Oz. Since we all know dogs are smarter than people, Toto told the Wizard of Oz, he needed to call himself a doctor if he wanted to really help people, cause if he called himself a wizard and all, people might just think he was a witch doctor and they would be afraid of him.

Then there's humans who got really bad problems they can't fix by watching television. Now these humans pay lots of money to talk to a sikitatrist. I think sikitatrists must be humans with very good ears if they charge you money just to listen to you. It don't make much sense to me, but lots a things about humans don't make sense to me.

Then there's peoples with lots of problems who can't get on no TV show and they don't have lots of money to pay a sikitatrist. And that's where I come in as a therapy dog. There's bunches of humans who like dogs like me. These humans like petting dogs cause it makes them smile. And when you smile, you forget about all your troubles. So my job is to let people pet me so they can smile and forget their troubles. And I don't cost no money to get petted.

Granddaddy is always saying most folks don't have enough common sense. If there's a shortage of common sense I guess it must not be so common anymore and most peoples have forgotten how to solve their own problems. But I got lots of common sense. If you got troubles and you need some therapy, there ain't no need to go embarrass yourself on no TV show and you don't gotta pay lots a money to a sikitatrist. Heck, you can just pet a dog for free and you'll be all better. Now that's common sense.

Now if you really want to be happy, turn off your TV, put all your money in the bank except for five dollars. You take your five dollars and get yourself a big carton of Blue Bell ice cream. Now you're ready to share a big bowl of Blue Bell with your favorite dog and you'll both be real happy. Now don't that make a lot more sense.

Now if you say you don't have yourself a dog well that's easy. I got lots of homeless friends who would just love to be your best friend and your therapist too. And my friends wouldn't mind a bowl of Blue Bell either. So if you want some free advice and if you need some therapy, all you need is a dog and a bowl of Blue Bell. But if you're one of those humans that thinks cats are better than dogs, I'm afraid you're too hopeless to fix and you'll just have to spend all your
money on a sikitatrist until you get smart enough to learn dogs really are man's best friend.

Now get yourself a dog and have a Blue Bell day! Miss Roxie

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